Putting Yourself Out There

I always say that looking for a job is similar to looking for a spouse. I just received this great email the other day that confirmed it.

A good friend of mine circulated a very detailed, very engaging email about her friend who just moved to DC and is looking for a serious boyfriend. She notes that her friend has tried online dating, and that sending this email to people in her DC network couldn't hurt. The email is full of descriptors surrounding her friend, from likes to dislikes, values, and even political leanings. So this led me to thinking about the similarities between marketing yourself for a spouse and marketing yourself for a job:

• Using Your Network. Did you know that most people who get the job they WANT find it by using their network? In other words, when you have people looking for you (doing the work) you discover hidden opportunities. Opportunities will also be sent your way since your network of friends, family and colleagues will be seeking out opportunities for you and sending them your way.
• Don't Forget the Details. Being clear about what you are looking for, whether in a spouse or a job, is extremely important, especially if you are asking your network to help you. If I want a job "that lets me use my skills and talents, has good benefits and a great work environment" what am I saying? Not much! BUT, if I say I am looking for a job "where I can contribute my 10+ years of experience in human resources, apply my leadership and team building skills, and utilize my innovative thinking and entrepreneurial spirit" then that brings much more clarity and detail to the picture, thus allowing someone to get a better sense of who I am and where I might fit.
• Asking for Help! If you don't ask, people can't help. If you don't ask, some people WILL help, but it might not be the kind of help you are looking for. Since I am talking about comparing job-hunting to spouse-hunting, I have to include an interesting anecdote here. I remember being on the fence about registering for gifts when I got married, or I should say, registering for so many detailed gifts. My friend said, "if you don't register for what you want, people will give you what they think you want, or worse, give you what THEY want". It proved to be SO TRUE!!! So sharing what you want and the details of what you want should be included when asking others to get the word out for you.

Putting yourself out there is not easy for most of us. It's awkward both in terms of finding a great spouse AND finding a great job. Asking people to help, asking them to listen to what you want and seek it out on your behalf can be tough, but using your network is by far the best way to do this, since you are likely to get the BEST results possible.

As for my friend's friend....well, I haven't heard anything yet as to a potential match but I am awaiting the results. As for you....I encourage you to open your mind to the possibilities and potential that comes from putting yourself out there. Without people to help us, really...where would we be?

Positive Psychology and Your Career

A week ago I started watching "This Emotional Life" on PBS. http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/. It included footage with celebrities discussing what makes them happy, studies with Buddhist monks to help further science by learning what happens to the brain during meditation and how we can retrain our brains (fascinating!!) to improve our health, and it also included an interesting segment on a man who had recently lost his job.

This part was interesting to me for many reasons: Bill took care of his infant son during the day while combing the internet and making calls. He was noticeably deterred and unhappy about the course his life had suddenly taken in terms of his job loss, and he was receiving assistance from a Positive Psychology Coach who had graduated from The University of Pennsylvania's Positive Psychology Program http://www.sas.upenn.edu/lps/graduate/mapp.

While he clearly enjoyed being with his son, Bill spoke negatively about his situation, and seemed stressed and stuck much of the time they captured him on film. The coach's role was to not find work for him, review his resume, or teach him how to network more effectively, but rather she seemed to provide him with a different framework for how to live his life. A more positive one.

Bill's coach had him participate in an exercise that I thought I would share since it is one I often pass along to clients and friends and have used myself:

• Write down three things each day that went well, and list the reasons why they went well. You can also think of this as a gratitude list: jotting down three reasons each day why you are grateful. I suggest reviewing the things that went well at the end of every day as well as the beginning of each day, especially as they accumulate. And watch what happens.

Want to skip the waiting part? Here is an example from my past: I have participated in this exercise during both a career transition that took me several years to figure out, and during a very frustrating job search. It seemed each day was filled with uncertainty about where I would end up, from waiting by the phone for a recruiter to call me back to not knowing how in the world to get out of a career I did not find fulfilling. Throughout these two life experiences I learned to focus on the daily things that went WELL, since things like waiting and wanting someone to call me back were out of my control.

Bottom line: once I started to concentrate and reflect on the good things that happened during my day, I slowly noticed a shift in what I focused on and my days and my life - my livelihood even- became less overwhelming and the unknown became less anxiety-provoking, and a little more comfortable.

So go ahead- decide to be positive. I promise it will change how you think! Want more information on your personal strengths and happiness levels? Go to http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/questionnaires.aspx and get interesting and FREE information about YOU!

It's That Time Of Year

Out with the old...in with the new. Sounds familiar to me. I definitely try to rid myself of bad habits and practice new, healthier behaviors each January - from exercising more to staying more organized. Of course, some things are easier said than done!

However, every December I look forward to a new year that brings an opportunity to improve my life in some way and well...to feel better. Which is what resolution making is all about.

When it comes to your career...how do you feel? There is no doubt that so many people - way too many - are in a tough spot as we head into 2010. The economy is a huge contributor. Some want out of their jobs or careers entirely but are fearful that no opportunity lies on the other side while others can't find employment no matter how hard they try.

There are two very important things to remember here:

1. Things don't stay the same and change is constant, from economies to tough decisions employers have to make. Economies have and will always fluctuate. Businesses will decide when and if to change course and will shed employees if it is in the best interest of the organization.
2. You may not believe it, but you have a very big role in your career and determining where it is headed, no matter what the economic climate, no matter what an organization may or may not decide about you.

So if you want to make some changes this year to your career, here are some thoughts in going about making those resolutions- and sticking to them:

• Do one thing to propel you forward. A great way to get started is with your resume. Hate updating it or at a loss for what it says about you? Hire someone to do it, or, ask someone whose professional opinion you trust to offer you some straightforward feedback.
• Design a career strategy. Start by making a simple "pros and cons" list about the job you have now: What do I like about my job? What do I dislike? Keep going and ask yourself: What do I want from my career? From my life? What do I want to keep doing? Stop doing?
• Decide that you are in control of your career. Write down 3 things that you can control in the midst of all that is happening around you, such as picking up the phone and scheduling lunch or coffee with someone in your network who would be helpful in helping you find employment or another career opportunity.

We want to help you stick to your 2010 resolutions and help you discover greater satisfaction with your career! Email us at trueprofessions@gmail.com .

Pep Thoughts: Psyching Yourself Up

1. You may be in a job-searching rut.
2. You may be a clock watcher; wishing for the end of each day, intensely disliking your job, your boss, or both.
3. You may be taking on something new to further the career you already have or to move your career in a new direction (e.g. volunteering for more responsibilities so as to secure a promotion, joining a Toastmasters club to improve your public speaking skills, freelancing in order to change careers, or starting a new business)

What is the common denominator among all 3 scenarios?

While there is surely more than just one, I would like to bring fear into the light:

1. Fear stops us from hanging in there and keeping our eyes on the prize when jobs are hard to find or interviews keep slipping through our hands.
2. Fear stops us from embarking on the tough journey of self-discovery that leads to discovering what our true life calling is.
3. Fear can stop us from feeling confident in our talents and abilities when it counts, especially when we are trying something new that is out of our comfort zone.

Time for some "Pep Thoughts". What are they? Think someone giving you a pep talk but doing-it-yourself when fear shows its face. Here's how to fashion your own:

• Think of someone whose opinion you value tremendously. Someone who always gives you good advice. What would he/she say to you if you talked about the desperation that often comes with job hunting? Or the daunting journey of finding a new career? Or, when you are shaking in your boots trying to start a new business?


• Write down what this person would say. Then, add to it. You know yourself best. What do you need to remind yourself of when it comes to your talents? You know what you are good at. Now is the time to revisit that resume and remember all your accomplishments. If you're not happy with your resume, email us at trueprofessions@gmail.com and we will help you feel proud of it.


• Summarize these thoughts, whether in bullet point fashion or put it into a lengthier document. Whatever works.


• Put this in your wallet, paste it to the wall above your computer, put it in a desk drawer where you can easily access it every day, make it the first document you open when you turn on your computer....YOU GET THE DRIFT! The point is: look at it. And look at at it often.

The more you deliberately visit these "Pep Thoughts", the more ingrained they will become and the more they will help you psych yourself up to send out one more resume...take a career assessment to evaluate new careers....or simply go for it.

It's like that old saying "practice makes perfect". You have to do just that: practice. Practice thinking those thoughts but better yet, practice believing in yourself and all that you are capable of, casting nerves, frustration, and stress aside.

Remember that we all need someone on our side to help motivate us - why not let that be YOU?

Labor Day Exercise

So Labor Day weekend has come and gone. How does it make you feel? Do you miss summer already or are you looking forward to the last 4 months of the year?

I, for one, am always happy that summer is over and that September marks the start of cooler temperatures, changing colors and fewer mosquitoes (they were REALLY bad this summer!) I feel like Labor Day offers that last bit of relaxation, fun and freedom before I feel inclined to take a look at my goals. Here is an easy Labor Day career assessment that I take part in every year:

- What do I want for myself and my career for the rest of the year?

- What can I realistically accomplish and what is better to delete from my list?

- How can I meet my goals and what specific actions do I need to take to make sure I reach them?

This Labor Day exercise is not only necessary for proactively managing your career, it is also extremely gratifying. Are you looking for a new job? Then examining your career strategy and how it has been working so far is imperative because when the holidays arrive, there's not much hiring going on. Are you unemployed? Same thought process applies. Are you dissatisfied with the job or career you have? Seriously, why wait? I know plenty of people who think, "Oh, the holidays are coming and I'll just wait until next year to get a jump on changing my life". Um, no. Wrong idea entirely since you will be just as miserable although more behind the 8 ball than ever when you decide 2010 is the right time to make a move.

So look at your goals, and don't be too hard on yourself. 4 months is not a whole lot of time, but what can you realistically do to change your circumstances? Start with writing it down, or, finding that old to do list and shaping your goals from there. If you start procrastinating just think of it as an exercise program: the more you do it, the better you will feel about both yourself and your career.

What Is Coaching?

Lately I have been getting calls from people who have heard about coaching but are not entirely sure what someone like me does for a living. Simply put, coaching is about improving performance. An important aspect of this lies in the accountability factor.

Coaches can only help people meet their goals, whether it is finding a more satisfying career, growing a business or fulfilling a lifelong dream, if they are accountable or answerable for what they say they will do. Reaching a goal always involves work and it can be easy to blame someone else, or something else, when you don't reach that goal. So hiring a coach who ensures that you (the client) are very much responsible for your success is a must.

Here are a few more tidbits about what specifically a career coach can help you achieve:

• Pinpoint why you are dissatisfied with your career or job and help you discover greater satisfaction. This may mean correcting an existing or ongoing issue in your current job or identifying new careers or jobs that suit your interests and skills.


• Assist you with a successful career transition. A career transition may come in the form of leaving your career altogether and finding a new one, or, helping you transition to a much different situation, such as staying at home with young children or caring for a family member while helping you keep your resume and career prospects fresh.


• Job search strategically. Coaches can help you significantly improve your job search by teaching you how to hunt more strategically and apply methods that work. Most jobs are found not by submitting resumes online in response to job advertisements, but instead using tried and true tactics that work.


• Rewrite your resume. While resumes are not the only thing that will get you through the door, they are the universal medium through which employers get to know you. A first impression can make or break your chances, and while resumes are just one vehicle in the quest to get hired, they are often the very first impression you will make.

• And much more!
  If you are interested in learning more about what coaching is and isn't or hearing about how we can help, please email us directly at: trueprofessions@gmail.com.

The Sound of Someone In Love (With His Job)

It all started with: "What an EXQUISITE morning!" Me: "What?" As I lifted my head from my pillow and squinted at the clock I heard my better half practically singing about the beauty of the morning. It was almost poetic. Why is this so odd you ask? Because a statement like that came from a person I know very well who loves to sleep, barely utters a few words before showering, and just got back from vacation. Why so happy? And alert?!

It made me grouchy. Then I started wondering why and how this added up.

There are few times in my life when I have heard the words: "I love my job". Granted, most people do come to me when they are dissatisfied with their jobs or careers but sometimes I do hear those 4 words even when people are at a crossroads. In fact, many people do love their jobs but they can't stand the people they work with, or their commute is a killer, or they dislike the company they work for.

I remember my husband telling someone recently that he loved his job. "Loved it" I thought? That was powerful. Then I started thinking about everything he has said about his employer since starting his job earlier this year: Successful company. Takes care of its employees and treats them well. Great communication flow from the top down. Fun environment. Stimulating work. Sense of community. Making a difference. Great boss.

What more can you ask for?

So while this took me aback (after all, it was the morning after we returned from the beach), I thought, wow. Bounding out of bed, giving praise to the new day and whistling his way out the door. It dawned on me how lucky I was to live with someone who loves his career. So the sound of someone in love with his job....well, it's beautiful.