Putting Yourself Out There

I always say that looking for a job is similar to looking for a spouse. I just received this great email the other day that confirmed it.

A good friend of mine circulated a very detailed, very engaging email about her friend who just moved to DC and is looking for a serious boyfriend. She notes that her friend has tried online dating, and that sending this email to people in her DC network couldn't hurt. The email is full of descriptors surrounding her friend, from likes to dislikes, values, and even political leanings. So this led me to thinking about the similarities between marketing yourself for a spouse and marketing yourself for a job:

• Using Your Network. Did you know that most people who get the job they WANT find it by using their network? In other words, when you have people looking for you (doing the work) you discover hidden opportunities. Opportunities will also be sent your way since your network of friends, family and colleagues will be seeking out opportunities for you and sending them your way.
• Don't Forget the Details. Being clear about what you are looking for, whether in a spouse or a job, is extremely important, especially if you are asking your network to help you. If I want a job "that lets me use my skills and talents, has good benefits and a great work environment" what am I saying? Not much! BUT, if I say I am looking for a job "where I can contribute my 10+ years of experience in human resources, apply my leadership and team building skills, and utilize my innovative thinking and entrepreneurial spirit" then that brings much more clarity and detail to the picture, thus allowing someone to get a better sense of who I am and where I might fit.
• Asking for Help! If you don't ask, people can't help. If you don't ask, some people WILL help, but it might not be the kind of help you are looking for. Since I am talking about comparing job-hunting to spouse-hunting, I have to include an interesting anecdote here. I remember being on the fence about registering for gifts when I got married, or I should say, registering for so many detailed gifts. My friend said, "if you don't register for what you want, people will give you what they think you want, or worse, give you what THEY want". It proved to be SO TRUE!!! So sharing what you want and the details of what you want should be included when asking others to get the word out for you.

Putting yourself out there is not easy for most of us. It's awkward both in terms of finding a great spouse AND finding a great job. Asking people to help, asking them to listen to what you want and seek it out on your behalf can be tough, but using your network is by far the best way to do this, since you are likely to get the BEST results possible.

As for my friend's friend....well, I haven't heard anything yet as to a potential match but I am awaiting the results. As for you....I encourage you to open your mind to the possibilities and potential that comes from putting yourself out there. Without people to help us, really...where would we be?

Positive Psychology and Your Career

A week ago I started watching "This Emotional Life" on PBS. http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/. It included footage with celebrities discussing what makes them happy, studies with Buddhist monks to help further science by learning what happens to the brain during meditation and how we can retrain our brains (fascinating!!) to improve our health, and it also included an interesting segment on a man who had recently lost his job.

This part was interesting to me for many reasons: Bill took care of his infant son during the day while combing the internet and making calls. He was noticeably deterred and unhappy about the course his life had suddenly taken in terms of his job loss, and he was receiving assistance from a Positive Psychology Coach who had graduated from The University of Pennsylvania's Positive Psychology Program http://www.sas.upenn.edu/lps/graduate/mapp.

While he clearly enjoyed being with his son, Bill spoke negatively about his situation, and seemed stressed and stuck much of the time they captured him on film. The coach's role was to not find work for him, review his resume, or teach him how to network more effectively, but rather she seemed to provide him with a different framework for how to live his life. A more positive one.

Bill's coach had him participate in an exercise that I thought I would share since it is one I often pass along to clients and friends and have used myself:

• Write down three things each day that went well, and list the reasons why they went well. You can also think of this as a gratitude list: jotting down three reasons each day why you are grateful. I suggest reviewing the things that went well at the end of every day as well as the beginning of each day, especially as they accumulate. And watch what happens.

Want to skip the waiting part? Here is an example from my past: I have participated in this exercise during both a career transition that took me several years to figure out, and during a very frustrating job search. It seemed each day was filled with uncertainty about where I would end up, from waiting by the phone for a recruiter to call me back to not knowing how in the world to get out of a career I did not find fulfilling. Throughout these two life experiences I learned to focus on the daily things that went WELL, since things like waiting and wanting someone to call me back were out of my control.

Bottom line: once I started to concentrate and reflect on the good things that happened during my day, I slowly noticed a shift in what I focused on and my days and my life - my livelihood even- became less overwhelming and the unknown became less anxiety-provoking, and a little more comfortable.

So go ahead- decide to be positive. I promise it will change how you think! Want more information on your personal strengths and happiness levels? Go to http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/questionnaires.aspx and get interesting and FREE information about YOU!

It's That Time Of Year

Out with the old...in with the new. Sounds familiar to me. I definitely try to rid myself of bad habits and practice new, healthier behaviors each January - from exercising more to staying more organized. Of course, some things are easier said than done!

However, every December I look forward to a new year that brings an opportunity to improve my life in some way and well...to feel better. Which is what resolution making is all about.

When it comes to your career...how do you feel? There is no doubt that so many people - way too many - are in a tough spot as we head into 2010. The economy is a huge contributor. Some want out of their jobs or careers entirely but are fearful that no opportunity lies on the other side while others can't find employment no matter how hard they try.

There are two very important things to remember here:

1. Things don't stay the same and change is constant, from economies to tough decisions employers have to make. Economies have and will always fluctuate. Businesses will decide when and if to change course and will shed employees if it is in the best interest of the organization.
2. You may not believe it, but you have a very big role in your career and determining where it is headed, no matter what the economic climate, no matter what an organization may or may not decide about you.

So if you want to make some changes this year to your career, here are some thoughts in going about making those resolutions- and sticking to them:

• Do one thing to propel you forward. A great way to get started is with your resume. Hate updating it or at a loss for what it says about you? Hire someone to do it, or, ask someone whose professional opinion you trust to offer you some straightforward feedback.
• Design a career strategy. Start by making a simple "pros and cons" list about the job you have now: What do I like about my job? What do I dislike? Keep going and ask yourself: What do I want from my career? From my life? What do I want to keep doing? Stop doing?
• Decide that you are in control of your career. Write down 3 things that you can control in the midst of all that is happening around you, such as picking up the phone and scheduling lunch or coffee with someone in your network who would be helpful in helping you find employment or another career opportunity.

We want to help you stick to your 2010 resolutions and help you discover greater satisfaction with your career! Email us at trueprofessions@gmail.com .